Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown

Today the 27th of November is the birthday of my grandmother on my mothers side. Easier said - mums mum. Kristín Jakóbína Guðmundsdóttir was born on the 27th of November 1894, her mother was a housemaid/worker at a farm in the next county to where I live now. As great grandmum was not married the child was taken from her shortly after birth to live with her grandmother. This was greatgrans second child to be taken from her. The first Stefania was sent with the man who was said to be her father to Canada, from her we have a heap of Canadian "cousins". Mums fate like so many of her time was one of poverty and movement. I unfortunately have not been dilligent enough to write down what mum has told me about her mothers early life - something I really need to address. All I know is that she had it tough and it made her tough in her own way - but at the same time - she always had a love of life.

This is her at around 16 years of age:

Not a bad looker.

She met and married my grandfather, a hardworking non drinking farmer. While married to him she had seven children, mum was number 4 in the line. Their homes were of the original Icelandic turf variety. They first lived in Laxárdal, if you go there today all you will see is a slight change in the landscape that tells you that a dwelling was once there, being turf it goes back into the landscape, after all it is just dirt and grass. Their second home was at Tunga, where my uncles Andres and Þóri still farm

I would say that this photo was taken in Tunga. Amma now older and more worn.

Amma left Afi after the youngest of their children was confirmed, again, I have been remiss in remembering dates.... As I am writing this I am realising how little there is of her that I know or understand, my feelings of what people have told me is that she was a very social person, loved being with other people, enjoyed poetry - of the Icelandic variety, laughed and was generally a happy go lucky person, whilst from what I gather and know my grandfather was far more serious. There were serious issues in their relationship that need not be recounted here, and probably had a major impact on their relationship - but those issues were before mother was born, they had 3 children after that - so whether it was perseverence, stubborness or god knows what - they stuck it through a lot longer than most folks would these days.

Amma moved to Reykjavík where she met Dóri, I called him dóri afi - he was by all accounts a very eccentric man. He was an inventor - was always finding new ways and new ideas. I really know so little about him, I just remember that as a child I liked him, and I think that he was good to my gran.

Amma wrote a lot of letters to mum and us when we moved to Australia and over the last few years mum and I have been typing them into mums computer, problem was she never put a date on them, neither did mum when she got them, so they are a little mixed up. However, I know that she kept up with what all of us were doing - ie us being all the grandchildren.

As I have touched on before I was fortunate enough to meet her again when I came with mum when I was 12 and again when I was 17. When I came with mum she was still living with Dóri in their small house near rauðavatn (a small lake which was outside of Reykjavik - now it is just outside the window of my aunts apartment block). The house no longer exists but the trees that

she planted are still there.

Amma had a stroke and ended up in hospital for the last years of her life - when I visited with Tracy she was just one big smile, she had grown so small but the shine was still there in her eyes and although the body was weak the mind was still all there.

This is Unnur with Amma. So happy even after all the hardships that she had gone through in life and then end up totally dependent on others in a hospital bed. Where do people find this love of life?

Oh the nerves, the nerves; the mysteries of this machine called man! Oh the little that unhinges it, poor creatures that we are! ~Charles Dickens

As promised the post that is all about ME. Yep now you get to meet the crap side of the person that is Sigga, the one that constantly scowls at the world, thinking that she has somehow been hard done by. It takes so much effort sometimes to get over myself- i often wonder why I am not on medications... The thing is I think I have finally realised we make our own shit and whether we revel in it or drown in it - it is basically up to us....

As you can see from the above I don´t seem like a very pleasant young child, I have no idea if I was a happy young person or not - my brothers and sisters will have to enlighten you on that - my memories from this period of my life consist of head injuries... maybe that is why I am as I am.

Later in life I put a lot of store in family and I always wanted everyone to be happy and to be happy according to my "rules", which I think were often never expressed out loud so my family never knew what internal dramas were taking place - most of these took place at Christmas - where according to my thinking everything was meant to be perfect.

This picture reflects the fact that obviously that Christmas did not go according to plan.

Yet another Christmas shot - you can see by the shoulders I am just about holding it together for the family photo. I don´t know how many years I expected Christmas to be perfect and it never was... At last now that I am in my own home I have no pressure about how Christmas should be - it just is - and I love it.

Now not so whiny shots... me when we arrived in Australia... not happy - but not sad...

Me and my cousin Elín... something I have to come to terms with on my own (It´s called inferiority complex - self created and self fed... before I die I will have worked this one out)

Another complex to overcome... I was the virgin Mary in our Christmas play - had to ride a donkey and all....

And I was an awkward 7 year old

And finally... whiny Sigga at her best - but hey the rest seemed quite happy...

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. ~Colette

I guess you have all realised that I am a bit of a dog person, well a pet person... The thing is it all began way back when my mum got a foal from her sisters father in law. The foal was called Skjóni, He was a part of the family from before I was born. Mum was still riding him whilst heavily pregnant with moi.

Skjóni lived to a ripe old age - only being felled the year before mum and dad's return to Iceland - which meant that we all had a chance to meet him. I somehow didn´t remember to take a camera up when I visited him ... but my sister did..

Unnur and Skjóni in the early 70's. He was a great horse. I rode him from the sheep round up into town when I was 12. He so knew what he was doing.. ... and he wasn´t happy having me on his back - but he put up with it.

Now let me introduce you to my cousin Snoddass... See my uncle had no kids of his own - but he had a dog, and to me this dog was a relation and was addressed as such.. Snoddass frændi. Isn´t he just the best - you can see he is mensk... he knows.

When we got to Aus we at first were petless... but then we quickly got a cat - Sófus. named after my Unnur ammas cat in Iceland... she was basically Unnurs cat:

A very cat like cat. Knew what he wanted when he wanted it - he knew he was on a good thing at our house.

See that face - it takes no prisoners. Thankfully he accepted the fact that we were dog people so when Píla - the dog that belonged to Olga and Kristinn.... (elder) brought a stray home with her and they brought him to us.. Sófus said OK he can stay

The he was Taffi... the bestest friend a girl of 6 could have... can´t find a photo of us together then - although I do know one exists... so I am giving the pic that summarizes his existence - he ruled!

yep in bed with my sis... such a cutie Big and strong and hey - he was my hero always...

Even tonight mum and I were talking about when he had to be put down and again I cried... strange how we have such deep ties and emotions to our pets, going in knowing that they will live shorter lives than our own.
Now for some cats.... This one.. have no idea what its name was... but he was happy in my bowl in my semi dark forrestry bedroom circa 1977...

There was a very special cat in my brother Jon's life - he was always called Pús (as in pussy). Original yeh. Nevermind. Pús was a siamese and lived a lot longer than most siamese.. Such an independent cat... more cat than any cat I have ever known. When Jon and Loa went to Iceland Unnur looked after the cat... obviously at some stage they had all come to Maddington for a visit... Mum, ( I used discretion and took young naked Olga out of the picture) and Pús...

mum is crocheting with the cat on top of the blanket... Pús did what pús wanted to do.. A great cat..

At some stage Unnur gave us a cat. I think that this was after Taffi was put down. the cat did not take to me or ma... but it did take to dad - Dad called him Vinnur... (friend). he was such a ball of fluff...

More dogs... Unnur and Thor knew that at some stage a dog would have to be a part of their lives.... (hey - we are like that).... I don´t know how this particular animal came into their lives... but let me introduce you to Snoddass - yep #2 named in memory of the original Snoddass from Iceland... Only this one was about a foot and a half off the ground... but the sweetest dog I have ever known. He lived to a ripe old age, and I know he had the best of a dogs life with my sister and Thor. Snoddass and Taffi got on well too which helped matters alot, they sometimes ganged up on the cat which was not so good. (till Snoddass arrived Sofus had been head honcho).

Unnur and Thor have had lots and lots and lots of cats and also a few dogs.. and I think that they deserve a mention. Firstly, Magic - a black cat, Clumsy - a Garfield variety, Chicken licken which lead to Maclicken:

Such a cuty - she was not actually the product of Magic and Clumsy or chicken licken... but i could be wrong..- but she was the inheritor of cat position in the family.

Here is a nice little picture of a young Snoddass and a territorial Clumsy.

Since then Unnur and Thor have had the pleasure of having in their lives a number of rats, cats, dogs and chickens... for me the memorable one is ofcourse Misty a dog they got after their return to Aus in 1990- such a sweety. My brother Jon had pús, whilst my brother Hilmar stood by the sheps, Jedda and Dana (spelling probably soooo wrong.. They were both beautiful german shepherds and I know my nephews loved them dearly)... Now brother Hilmar has a new dog. called Conan yep the barbarian... let me introduce the beast

So cute - I have yet had the pleasure to meet him, but am sure that he is a hoot..

So to proceed to our current companions. Mum got Snodra for Anna when she came to stay in Iceland. She was soooo small and such a cuty.. but also knew what she wanted and what she could get away with.... breakfast for example:

Now she is all grown up and rules the roost at mums... Sort of .. her and Freyja have declared a truce, no friendship but a liveable relationship.

so it comes to my little princess the one that controls my life, and mums to a certain extent... Freyja.. queen of all she sees. Or rather if I cry and look pitiful - the humans will do as I demand.

I think that I need to end this with some bits of personal trivia. In Iceland I called a dog my relative, in Australia my best friend for over 10 years was a dog. He made my first years in Australia bearable, when I was being bullied at school I came home to him and knew that I had a friend. When he was put down it left a big hole in my life and I promised myself that one day I would have a dog again, but only when I was sure that I had a home to call my own. So the first thing I did when I came to Iceland was declare that I was going to get myself a dog. I had imagined a golden retriever or a lab or a german shepherd - ie a big dog.... but fate does what fate does.. mum met a bloke who had a dog that had just had a pup that he needed to find a home for. I said yes before setting eyes on her... and hey.. sometimes fate just does what it needs to do.

I think the next instalment needs to be the whiny sigga... there are so many photos of me with the rankest of faces....................

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

A small break in the reminiscing to make an update regarding current proceedings. Tonight was a family get together at Rúna Birna's so here are some photos to update the family on how everyone looked on the 19th of November 2009: oh. and as an aside.. this is like the first time in a long time that there was 100% attendance - no swine flu, no one at sea and no one down south... yay for family dinners!

Totally engrossed with what is happening at the other end of the lounge. Jóhanna and Guðný and Jóka totally absorbed whilst mum and Odný Sara are in conversation.

What were they engrossed in... Eyrún and Þórdís with the newest member of the family... name to be given on Saturday.. young boy Sorenson whilst Steina gives Atli Björn Smárason a bit of a cousin/aunt talk...

This is princess Victoria giving her cousin Kristófer an instructive lesson on the correct way to hold a glass that has a stem. She is so precious.. in a really really good way..

Stebbi, Smári and Guðný... so like themselves.. no words are needed.

The hosts of the party and Soren. Rúna with her boyfriend Helgi - so nice. and Ingvi's muscled back

+

Maggi, yes his hair is thinning - hence the crew cut, Eyrún, Ma and Steina

The dignified elders.. my uncle Bjössi and Rúna

oh and there had to be a photo of me - with Maggi and Þórdís.

The next historical instalment will be all about........................

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. ~Desmond Tutu

Cousins are the most wonderful people on the planet - not only are they related to you they often make the best of friends! I was so lucky to get to know just a few of these wonderful individuals during some of my stays here in Iceland. From those early encounters true strong solid friendships evolved. I would hate to think what my life would have been like if I had never gotten to know these people and more importantly than that - have them as my friends.

Johanna, above is the most beautiful of human beings. She has had a few rough times in her life, but has bounced back so magnificently and is someone that I admire so much. I know that she is there - solid as a rock for me at any time wherever I am in the world. I love her to death!

This is a portion of the extended family on my dads side, a lot of these people I really don´t know - I know who they are and I know we are related, but like in all big groups of people there are often only certain people that you know you have a special affinity with. Johanna and her extended family are like that for me.

This is mums oldest sisters family, I am fairly good mates with Krisín (middle bottom) and Olína, they basically managed to save both my mother and my mental health when I came to Iceland as a 12 year old. We will get to whiny sig in a later post. Anyway I missed my dad dreadfully when we were in Reykjavik and made life hell for ma - who probably missed dad just as much if not more than me. Anyway the solution and a good solution it was - was to send me to the country to my aunt and uncles farm. There I learnt to ride a horse and to shovel shit in the cow shed - twas a very good education.

Now these people have been extremely influential in my life - my hero Sirrí is bottom left, she runs the local museum set up here, writes educational materials on the early habits of Icelanders as a hobby, and has basically helped her mother and father bring up the 8 other brothers and sisters. These cousins took me and Tracy in when we were here in our teens, they made our stay in Rvk just so amazing... They took me in when I came back in the 80's - helped set me up in work in the bank and also when they deserted me (they moved north), made sure that I still had a safety net of friends in Reykjavik. Solid friendships were formed and are now such an integral part in my life that I could not imagine being here without them.

So as you can see, although I lived thousands of miles away - friendships were born and grew and became stronger over the years. I have people here in Iceland who know me as Sigga frænka í Ástraliu (Sigga cousin in Australia) - they are not my relations - but to them that is who I am. This is often the cause of much consternation... but are you related? - no... but in a strange way I became related to all their relations - through proxy. I loved it and still do.

Now a new generation of cousins is growing up way down there in the southern hemisphere and wonderfully they are all really really good friends.

Olga and Maja became better friends when they spent time together in Iceland, living with my mum. I think I can safely say that their friendship grew and blossomed whilst they were here. Such gorgeous girls.

This is the group (sans Maja - she was otherwise engaged), this was taken during my last Christmas in Australia, it was a wonderful day. They are beautiful people who, through blood are family but as friends they are greater than the sum of all of us.

A child needs a grandparent, anybody's grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world. ~Charles and Ann Morse

I really didn´t know where to go from where I left off.. It all seems a tad disjointed, so I have decided - as it is my blog - to concentrate on me and how I have felt by the move to Australia and the effect that this had on my life. I felt that the best place to start was with what I missed most by our move.....

Having Grandparents. All my friends in Australia had them - well... I knew I had grandparents - but they were "over there" - in Iceland. My best friend Tracy had her Nan and Gag and Nanna and Pop... whom I met frequently - she got to hear about my ammas and afis but to an 8 year old its all pretty conceptual. Anyway - I would like to introduce my amma Kristín, my mums mum... She had a tough life, born out of wedlock she was taken "wet" as my mother says from her mothers arms and sent to her grandmothers. She ended up being a "social" case in terms of the fact that she was sent from farm to farm and started working for herself at a very early age. I did not know her and never had the chance to ask her about her childhood so all I have is the information that my mother and aunts and cousins have given me. I do know that she was a person who enjoyed having fun and seeing the fun side of life. She wrote poetry (of the traditional Icelandic variety), she tried to be a good mum to her eight children and probably tried to be a good wife. She left my grandfather when the youngest child was old enough to understand and take care of herself. From what I remember she never seemed bitter, but what do I know - these are my memories and she died before i had the chance to get to know her or ask her about her life and childhood. I did though get to meet her again when I was 12 and again when I was 17 - then she was in hospital having suffered a stroke, so by the time I may have been able to ask the questions, she was not capable of giving me the answers, but that really doesn´t matter because the important thing is that in my memories and in my life - I liked her. I would have loved to have known her better - but often we are not given that opportunity - I am grateful for the few moments we had.

Here she is all pert on a horse at my aunt's farm.

and here she is with my sister Unnur - see how happy she is - even though she was unable to communicate properly - you can still see the inner happiness.

Her husband - my grandfather Helgi... now this is hard to write. I had so many stories from my mother growing up about what a hard man he was... and I think that this was no exageration. He wasn´t physically abusive to her but there was always a lot of tension when she talked about him. Now we have worked out that probably as she has a hearing impairment she probably never took notice of him talking to her until he was shouting.. . As you can tell they didn't have a loving relationship - but he did respect her choice of husband - which was a good thing. I met my grandfather a couple of times - that I can remember. When I was 12 visiting the farm with my mum and brother and then later when Tracy and I came to Iceland, by then he was living at my aunts farm and he had to have an oxygen container with him By this stage he had cronic emphasema and so had to have oxygen on hand. He seemed a sad and broken old man. His story too would have been nice to know.

This photo is of him on his 70th birthday surrounded by his daughters and their children. I am ofcourse the sulky one in the front... A later post will be dedicated to the sulky whiny Sigga..

Now to my other grandparents. Unnur Magnúsdóttir and Jón Björnsson - my dads parents

Here they are outside the front door of the house that mum now lives in........

First my amma Unnur... she was one tough old bird -
again my big regret being that I never got to know her.. All I know is that she said what she wanted to say and she always meant it - she called a spade a spade... She was not exactly the warmest of individuals. Kristín amma would have been more likely to hug me than Unnur amma. Unnur amma though probably missed us more than anyone else in Iceland - you see my dad was her boy. In Iceland people often get nicknames that are descriptive of their station in life or their association with other people. My dad was Mangi Unnars... that is Magnus (Mangi being a derivative of magnus) belonging to Unnur. Most boys were usually associated with the father - both of dad´s brothers were Bjössi Jóns and Kári Jóns - ie associated with the father - not dad. So for her us going away to the end of the earth meant that she would never see any of us again ever (well a woman of her age in 1968 - what would you expect) as Unnur reminded me today - she even tried to bribe her and my brother Jon to stay - thinking that this might change my parents mind. Mum also told me that she told her to threaten divorce - she understandably tried every trick in the book to stop her son from taking himself and his family away.

Here she is with a close family friend Sína She was another person who I am sure I would have adopted as an extra grandma had I stayed - she was a close friend of both my ammas.

When I came to Iceland in 1979 with Tracy both amma and Sína were at the old peoples home at the hospital... so when I visited amma Sína would often be there.

My afi Jón was still living at home when I came at age 17 so I had the chance to spend some time with him one on one. I realised then that he was an amazing man. He had some way out there ideas. Tracy at this time wanted more than anything in the world to get married and have lots and lots of children. My afi Jón thought this very strange, why on earth would any woman want to marry when they could have children without having to have a man. ( I think that he was most impressed with the new IVF programmes available). He was so good to me and such a nice gentle sweet old man. Again, I wish that I had been just that little bit older when we met to be able to discuss things. As most of you know I now work in the same building that he did for 50 years.

Thats me with my two uncles and afi Jón
My sister Unnur is Unnur Magnúsdóttir, my grandmother - my fathers mother was also Unnur Magnúsdóttir - I love this photo!!!

We have a slide picture taken before we left for Australia of my afi Jón looking at his globe to see where Australia was in relation to Iceland. This was recaptured during Unnur and Thor's stay in Iceland:

Yes it's a long way away...